When "healing" opens too much; a bit about workshop overwhelm

A longtime client came in this week, sharing about her experience at a healing workshop she had recently attended.

While lying on her back during the event, with one hand on her heart and one on her abdomen, the workshop leader placed her hands on top of my client’s hands. The touch was consensual, and anticipated, as the workshop leader had asked permission beforehand.  

My client had a visceral, bodily felt reaction to being touched by this person. She said a whole part of her body shut down and started shaking. It was as if an alarm bell went off, and the parts of her body that had (in the past) felt unsafe went into panic, in response to this touch.

She spent the rest of the workshop managing that reaction, rather than participating in the moment from an integrated feeling of safety and presence. 

In other words, she was activated by the contact. 

Too much was opened. The contact didn’t have context, didn’t meet her for where she was, and she didn’t feel safe. This wasn’t a conscious choice; it was a hard-wired reaction from her nervous system, in response to incongruent input.

This sort of thing happens. 

It is actually counterproductive to healing.

I’ve had other clients describe this sort of workshop phenomenon before. Another client once was too opened up by a breath workshop; her system got flooded and overwhelmed and she was left managing herself emotionally in the aftermath of the overwhelm.

I’m not at all saying that the practitioners leading these workshops were ill-intentioned or incompetent. The practitioner in this case had come highly recommended, and had good intentions.

What I am saying is: it is quite real that people may become triggered by being touched in a public workshop. It is quite possible that the practitioner may not meet them in the way that they need to be met, which creates a mismatch and a defensiveness in the client’s body.

A nervous system doesn’t heal in overwhelm or shut down. A heart, body, and mind do not integrate and heal while in activation. 

Once the body shuts down, the person is no longer having a workshop experience, the person is in survival. If this type of defensiveness or shut-down happens, there are a few essential ingredients missing in the healing equation: 

• The practitioner or workshop leader has not yet established basic trust with the client. If they had, then the client’s body would feel safe when being met by touch. In this case, the client felt exposed, to the point of being shut down. That is on the practitioner. 

• The front of the body is a very personal, open and vulnerable part of the body. To approach and touch someone there requires skilled presence. It is not advisable to begin “healing work” on someone by going directly to the anterior of the body. In other words: the front to the body is not an entry point to a person’s system. This is especially true when the client does not know the provider. (An exception to this would be when a medical provider is doing an exam; this is information gathering and not intended healing input into the person’s nervous system) .

• A practitioner needs to exhibit a sensitivity to feeling how the person is receiving the experience. Even moderately skilled practitioners that “mean well” can have a blind spot to the client’s experience underneath their hands. A practitioner’s ability to sense their client’s state of safety and receptivity (versus guarding, fear, or closure) is the most important aspect of the practitioner-client relationship. 

• A client who has somatic trust established with the practitioner will have a felt sense of nervous system safety. When touched, they will experience connection, ease, and receptivity to the process. 

There is an art to BEING WITH a client. And it is not at all about the practitioner; it is about seeing and meeting the client. This being met is the special sauce in a practitioner-client relationship; it is what opens the door to trust, to belonging, and to true healing.

Expressing emotion and crying is sometimes a pivotal part of healing. However there is a difference between someone crying because they are being opened, and someone who is upset because they feel exposed, triggered, or shut down. A good practitioner needs to know the difference. 

I was able to normalize my client’s experience to her; she was relieved to hear how being touched in the heart area can feel very charged, and that it was not surprising to me that she felt exposed. She appreciated the context of my framing that she didn’t quite have somatic trust established with that person. 

What I know is, certain areas of the body can be activating when touched. These areas are for advanced healing, advanced personal work, and are NOT entry points to healing in a first-time, public workshop. 

I also know there’s a way to facilitate healing that works with the person’s system, not against it. That presence with someone through touch opens them up to more of themselves. And that bodies cannot heal when they are shut down. My intention is for people to encounter being met from the moment they walk into my office. This lays the ground for true healing.